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16 July 2018

I'm in love.... DO I?


I've a story to tell. This is my love story... hmm, maybe not?  hahaha... i dont know yet.

Well, its begin like this. I met her through a spouse seeking site. My friend ask me to sign up. The truth is, i had already sign up before but later i delete my account. It is a long story. Next time, maybe.

Ok. then after i make my account. and put all those information about me. Base on my experience before, i learn how to share my info in this site. It is a trick to bait them. And hopefully many of them will ready to go 'taaruf' with me.

Yes, just like i said, it is  a success. Not for long i wait, a few persons send me 'salam' and invitation to 'taaruf'. Hahaha... of course they want to know who i am. After i put a little bit of beautiful quotes and hiding my picture plus i am an ustaz on my information.  i really am glad for them.

When they ask me to see my picture, i do accept and show them my picture. there were 1 or 2 girls still continue want to 'taaruf' with me. Thank you guys, i really appreaciate it.

Well this is only the beginning.

there were a girl, i saw in my profile visitors list. Her face look like she is a scary person. From her picture, i can imagine how fierce she can be when she is angry. hahaha... well just like how i feel when the 1st time i met my 1st ex... haa...😔

She triggered my curiosity to know her. She is 9 years younger then me. Oooh.. my ages 😢 She is living not far from my place. So, without thinking further, i send her 'salam' and invitation for 'taaruf'.

Good news. After a few hours, i get a notification saying that she is accepting my invitation. Well, this is my chance to know her. For your information, i think the last time i ever do this is past 4 or 5 years ago. And it end not very well. It was really bad and traumatic experience for rme.

Our conversation start with me asking her how long have her been in this site... and so on. I ask her about her education. Job. Her family and siblings. And so on. It is a very nice feeling.

My sister ask me, "Why do you smiling while looking at your laptop?"

Wow, i didn't realize it. Hahaha...

There were some funny reaction of her when she ask me about polygamy
. Because in my information, i pick yes for "Do you planning of polygamy's" question. Hahaha.. silly me.

Her reaction is, "If you planning of polygamy, please find other girls who ready to do."

I'm suprise. little bit of panicking. I said, "it just a plan. I cant be sure that i will get more then one wife. Because right now, i cant even get one."

She said, "you just saying. I dont believe you."

Oh my god! I'm doooom! I really dont to stop this taaruf process with her.

"Give us  sometimes to know each other better. Later we can discuss this again," i replied.

Thank goodness, she accept it. She apologize and start sharing with me her story.

Phew... i'm saved!

28 June 2018

Aku Keliru




Hampir 4 tahun kutahan hasrat.
Bayangan silih berganti,
detik masa berlalu hadir sahaja bayangan yang mengetuk hati,
ku biar mereka berlalu pergi
Hingga kali ini..

Aku berfikir sampai bila mahu terbelengu dengan kenangan lalu?
dirantai memori hati yang berkecai, sampai bila?
Lakaran baru satu keperluan,
Agar aku bisa menilai jalan baru dalam sebuah kehidupan
Ini yang berlegar di fikiran

Lalu aku membuat keputusan,
Setelah sana sini berkejaran mengutip pandangan insan,
Bukan kerana aku bergantungan pada tatapan mereka
Tetapi aku ingin meraih tenaga, kudrat untuk melonggar belengu kenangan
Trauma masih ada, dalam tak sedar aku sebenarnya terpenjara

Pada bonda acap kali kutagih sokongan,
Kerana antara aku dan bonda tiada rahsia,
Semenjak kali pertama itu, terpisah kemudian bertemu
rupanya pertemuan tika itu mengundang kecewa
Juga menjadi titik mula
antara aku dan bonda tiada rahsia

Ku satukan perasaan,
kuatkan tujuan,
biarlah, andai dibiarkan persoalan ini terus berlegar di fikiran
Aku tidak akan tenang!

Dan dikala matahari hampir segalah di kepala
Suratan takdir menetapkan segalanya
Alhamdulillah, aku bisa menerimanya dengan tenang
Ini satu perkara yang luar biasa!

Kata orang, disangka panas hingga ke petang
rupanya hujan ditengahari
Aku menerima berita  yang membuatkan aku keliru
Apakah? Mengapakah? Kenapakah?

Wahai tuhan yang membolak-balikkan hati kami
tetapkan hati kami hanya untuk mu
Kau yang mengusai hati dan perasaan hamba-hamba-Mu
Jangan dibiarkan ia mengusai diri kami yang lemah ini.

Semua telah kurasai
Melalui orang tua, dikatakan terlampau mendahului ke depan
Melalui perantaraan, dikatakan tidak berani, tak 'gentleman'
Terus ke empunya diri, aku dikatakan tak sopan, kita ada adat dan budaya
"Saya masih ada orang tua" kata dia

Aku seorang yang keliru
Mudah-mudahan, tempoh 30 tahun pengajian dalam alam kehidupan
Bisa menjernihkan mataku, melapangkan dadaku
untuk membuat penilaian dengan akal dan fikiran
dan pastinya dengan IMAN...


24 August 2017

Bacalah!

Jangan jemu baca buku
Kerna pada buku ada ilmu
Jangan takut tiada guru
Kerna guru itu bentuknya beribu
Jangan goyah dipanah tohmah
Kerna fakta takkan kalah

Jika engkau salah
bukakan mata
lapangkan dada
kaji setiap kata
adil dengan mereka

kita cari jawapan
bukan cari lawan
kita mahukan kebenaran
hapuskan kejahilan
kejumudan dan kezaliman

Bacalah! ini kata tuhan
Bacalah! ikhlas demi tuhan
Bacalah,wahai orang beriman!

Abu Hariz 
17/8/2012 - 6.28pm
Rantau Panjang, Klang.




Siapa yang ketika membeli buku, tidak berasa lebih nikmat daripada saat membelanjakan hartanya pada benda lain, atau tidak melebihi cita-cita para hartawan dalam membina bangunan. Sesungguhnya dia belum mencintai ilmu." 
- Al-Jahiz, ulama dan pakar ilmu zoologi pertama dalam Islam.

Mengapa nikah menjadi pilihan?

Sekitarku hingar dengan jemputan
Tak kurang juga dengan kritikan
Baru belajar merata tanah
Sudah berani mahu bernikah?
Entah nasi dapat disuap
Lagikan beranak, mak ayah diharap?

Mengapa nikah menjadi pilihan?
Dulunya sendiri menjadi hantu,
Jadi suami tahu membantu.
Dulunya sendiri tidak kenal mentari,
Jadi suami lepas subuh cari rezeki.
Kita kata dengan nikah boleh berubah,
Mereka kata buat dua kerja satu masa itu punah!
Biarkan mereka berkata,
Pada aku bukan nikah puncanya
Tapi rasa tanggungjawab itulah dia
Belajar dulu menanggung diri
Baru belajar menjadi suami
Kalau marah mudah membara
Jangan bercita mahu bercinta
Kalau Yang Esa mudah dilupa
Jangan mimpi mahu ke syurga
Kecuali dengan taubat nasuha
Dan dengan usaha menuju solehah
Jadi mengapa nikah menjadi pilihan?
Kerna ku ingin memilih bernikah sebagai kekuatan
Membuat perubahan di saat ‘si manis’ di sisi kanan!
Abu Hariz,
Rantau Panjang, Klang.
12.39 am, 24/8/2012

ps: Sajak lama yang hanya menghiasi muka buku. Luahan tatkala jiwa muda bergelora mahu bercinta. Lucu mengenang telatah diri waktu itu. Kini aku hanya menanti waktu, untuk berbakti kepada ayah dan ibu. Mudah-mudahan rasa mahu berpasangan itu kembali hadir selepas itu ^_^

06 November 2015

I miss both of you

I do really want to cry with both of you

I really miss to touch your hand and feet
I really miss to feel your smiles and laughs

I felt lonely because i always think how do other peoples see me
But i forgot both of you always feel proud of me

I do, I do really want to cry
with both of you
The tear of happiness
and sadness, i really want to share with you

but you are so far away
sometimes loneliness keep torturing me
by let me think that no one ever care about me

It let me forget that far from here
there were thousand silent's prays for my happiness
and they were from both of you

when you said,
you don't know will you ever see me again
it really broke my heart

i'm not so tough
even with my big body
i'm not so strong
and i'm not so brave
to live in this lonely life without you guys

I miss you mum
I miss you dad
I miss both of you
Very, very much

Deep in my heart, i'm really sacred
If this hopeless son of yours
will either make you cries
of sadness or
in tears of happiness
i don't know
and i'm scared to know